cuteandcompact

I remember i said ages ago that i would post old things form my diary but only did it once. Fail. But you know what, maybe its stupid to do. I mean the random gay letters/poems and shit that ive written there, they are for me to know. Only me. But oh well.

Supopsed to go to the TM direct again today... But o dont feel like its something for me. I really feel like it wouldnt go well and i'd just have way too much to do. I'd have to manage to work monday-wednesday, have dance on thursday, end late on friday, saturday free and work cleaning on sunday, and someone manage to do homework and have some free time to do whatever. It probably wouldnt work. So i have to call and tell them im not interested and dont feel like its the right thing for me. Yay...

I didnt go to history today... Not going yo swedish either. I know i was supposed to but i really dont feel like im missing anything. The teacher is so flummig anyways. But im going to science!!!! :D I serioulsy love science. Just sucks im not very good at it. At all. But who cares. I cant wait to have Lab again. I think its fun actually. Hahah probably should have chosen Natsci XD But would have failed pretty miserably so yeaaaahhhh. And then im talking to the school shrink. It might be kinda sad that these are the things i look forward to.

Ush, i feel constantly tired. I went to bed around ten yesterday i think. Slept til nine, and im still tired. Supposed to have movie night saturday. Do i really have the energy though...? Well ill have to figure that out for tomorrow. I just want to go back to bed and sleep. I have no idea why i feel so tired or exhausted i guess. I almost didnt even orka change from pj's this morning. I really dont like school... If i could choose, i'd only go to 3 lessons... Science, english and german. But no, you HAVE to have history, religion, socils and swedish too. I hate those subjects so bad. I guess religion is ok, but im really not interested.

And then the pressure of having to go to uni or your a failure. Who the fuck said that?! And how the hell are you supposed to know what you want to do at 17/18?! Im sorry but its all bullshit. If i want to take a gapyear and find out what i could consider doing in the future, why shouldnt i? Maybe i dont want to pick something random to study for 4 years and then just regret wasting those years. Im not going to leach off my parents like someone said. I dont want to do that, and if i fail at whatever im gonna do, then thats my problem. I doupt i'll know most of the people i know now. So why would they care what happens to me? And if i do know them and fail, does that really matter... would they not want to know me if im not doing well...? I guess the world is a more fucked up place than i thought.

And no Lami, im not gonna do that thing i said form the place i said. Because i promiced.