cuteandcompact

I can't sleep... Its dark outside. Everything is quiet. The snow outside that has been piling up outside my window is shining.. Glittering so to speak. Its pretty. Its about -14 degrees outside. So the snow is well kept. Nothing is as peaceful as during a cold, snowy, winter night. I just wanna sit up all night and look out my window at the streets that shimmer. I have too much time on my hands. But still it feels like time is slipping through my fingers. Through and out and turning into nothing. A memory maybe. Not a well kept one. Memories are good sometimes. But its most often you only remember the bad ones. They're harder to forget. Whatever is good must be extreamly good to get a place in your memory. The snow makes me think.. So many thought at the same time. Its like he buzzing of the computer is the same as the buzzing in my head.. I remember when i was really small and me and my family were going tobogganing. My sister being stubborn and didnt want to set foot outside the door, my parents getting annoyed and me waiting for them to be done so we could head to the hills. Nothing was as exciting as tobogganing. Or thats what it felt like. I mean, speeding down a hill and falling into the soft, glistening snow... I dont think there was anyone who didnt enjoy it. So why do we always want more? Why do we always assume we're too old to do something? The snow gives everyone a chance to be childish again. Not to loose the side of you that knew that the simple things were fun! Tobogganing is just one of those things. Snowball fights is another. Who doesnt enjoy rolling a perfectly round snowball and just throwing it at someone with in a laugh. I have to stop thinking. It's driving me partly insane. I hate thinking.. So much wasted time. I usually just zone out.. Which people assume is thinking.. But right now, all i want to do is to take a walk outside.. in the peaceful glowing snow. I just want to walk to humlegården and look at the snow.. No thoughts, no emotion, no nothing. I want to zone out. Not care. I wish Helena was here so i could play in the snow with someone. I mean there is at least 15cm of snow.. And its just waiting for us.. I want to be four again. Simple times. Best year of my life. Everything i remember that was great was from then. I think i'll go visit my grandmother sometime during the holiday. Just to surprise her. I know she'll love it. Just have to ask my parents.. This whole post has been pointless. But who knows, maybe it has a meaning. I dont know when i'll fall asleep. Will probably write some more posts before i go to bed though.. we'll see